Day 9: Pollos Mario

Goles y Frijoles rolled deep today. In addition to GyF veteran, John, we added Jeff “Eyes Bigger than Stomach” McVean and salad enthusiast, Dana. After an unsuccessful search for Congas Cuban Café, we settled on Pollos Mario, a Colombian restaurant on Albemarle reputed to be the best in the city. The four of us sat at an enormous, round wooden table and started with an order of empanadas. Though I expected something along the lines of the folded flour pastries that kept me alive last summer in Buenos Aires, these chicken and beef empanadas were disappointingly fried and heavy. At least Marios served them with a very spicy, very fresh green salsa with the consistency of gazpacho.

For my main thang, I ordered Bistec a Caballo, which describes not the source of the steak—it’s cow, not horsemeat—but the way in which the two fried eggs perch atop the meat like an ambivalent rider. The plate also includes cassava, potatoes, and roasted red peppers in a sweet sauce. The only problem with the meal, a problem that seems typical of Americans eating asada all over, is that a Latin American “steak”—those of Argentine beef being one major exception—is simply not of the same quality or quantity of beef as what we expect here in the United States.

Jeff faced the same problem with Mario’s Special Platter, basically a bandeja paisa (see Day 1) with roasted chicken, which in his opinion, turned out to be the dish’s only redeeming element. Dana fared a little better with the Churrasco Mario, a sirloin steak served with beans, white rice, avocado, and aveja. Of course, Dana did not start into the churrasco without a salad, however, a disappointing one covered in flavorless peas and a dressing that our hero described as both “thinner than water” and “like cereal water with a hint of Italian dressing.” Unfortunately, such comments went to negate any culinary expertise possibly ascribed to their utterer, as they betrayed the fact that Dana pours water on his cereal when out of milk and, apparently, ethanol, when out of water.

John kept it real with Arroz con Pollo and then proceeded to break with his rapper forbears. No appetite for destruction. Didn’t scrape the plate.

Score: Pollos Mario seems to do what they do well. Yet, I’m beginning to suspect I just don’t really care for Colombian food. Also, with a name like Pollos, where’s all the chicken?