Refreshed by the pummel of Lightning Bolt at the Milestone last night and this morning's surprisingly cool air (and despite the enthralling Brazil team falling to the Netherlands this morning), Goles y Frijoles finally got back to its roots today with an ATLiens-soundtracked cruise up Tryon to Taquería Medina, a truck stationed in the parking lot of what was at one point a bar called Las Risas and certainly the smallest establishment visited up to this point. I was forced to break out the Spanish when asking for a recommendation and after a little banter asked for the Torta Cubana, an order that came the disclaimer, "It's big." At nine dollars, the Cubana is by far the most expensive item on a menu consisting of tacos, tortas, burritos, quesadillas, huaraches, and soups. And for good reason. The sandwich is a behemoth. Even before I opened carryout box, the weight of the plastic bag which held it betrayed the sandwich's prodigious mass like the tremulous bend of a fishing pole announcing a monster at the end of the line. After the box was open, laughter was my first response, followed by the realization that there was no way in hell I'd be able to eat this thing while driving. (That's my left hand on top of half of the largest sandwich I've ever attempted to eat without assistance.)
Once I brought this baby home (after grabbing an essential Pepsi at Segen's), it took me about one quarter of the thing to realize why it wasn't that good. And it's as simple as the list of ingredients, which are: "breaded steak, eggs, sausage, smoked pork, ham, hot dog, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado, mayonnaise, beans, and jalepeños." Really, no spaghetti? C'mon, where's the tuna salad? I thought I ordered mine with peanut butter... In spite of its name, the Torta Cubana can only be described as American in its excess and is further proof that adding hotdogs is never a viable fix to a culinary dilemma.
The Score: Keep it simple or risk doing less with more.
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